Being Unemployed Isn't So Bad, Besides Going Crazy Doing NOTHING

My daily schedule consists of waking up, making coffee, sitting at my desk in my office, and applying for jobs. THAT'S IT! While my boyfriend goes to work, I stay home and basically practice being a stay-at-home girlfriend—cleaning the kitchen, doing our laundry, taking care of our fluffy boys, and even handling basic bookkeeping and taxes for the year. Call me the best stay-at-home girlfriend in the woooorld lol.

One of the reasons I have this blog/my own mini platform is that it keeps me busy and allows me to express myself—whether that means venting my anger or writing about topics that I'm passionate about or find interesting. It also serves as an excuse to post my artwork and silly doodles on a social platform that most people in my life either don’t know about or don’t bother to check. I can be as cringy as I want until the fear and second-hand embarrassment set in at the thought of my friends discovering just how OBSESSED I am with bees (even though my car is covered in stuffed bees and my jewelry is basically honey pots on my fingers).

But besides my hobby of being submerged in a pot of honey, being unemployed feels like sitting in limbo, waiting for something even remotely interesting to happen to me. I have applied to 124 jobs so far, landed interviews for four, and almost got an offer for one—if it wasn’t for the fact that I was recently laid off. They assumed it was due to performance rather than my lack of seniority on my old team. Gotta tell ya, that was a real confidence killer, especially since I passed all their assessment tests and had a great working interview. Writing script after script, preparing for interviews, only to be told they are no longer hiring, that my skills aren’t enough, or my favorite response:

"Unfortunately, we cannot hire you due to your skills being overqualified for our role and budget."

Like, I WILL WORK FOR THE PAY YOU ARE OFFERING. GIVE ME A FUCKING JOB. I NEED HEALTH INSURANCE!! I WANT TO EARN MONEY AND HAVE BENEFITS, NOT LIVE OFF UNEMPLOYMENT 😭. I am very grateful for unemployment and for having a decent nest egg for emergencies, but I feel like I’m on standby mode—like a robot waiting for its next command. And without that command, I feel frozen in place while the world moves on without me.

Yes, I have tried freelancing. I’ve gotten a few gigs for graphic design and data entry (hit me up if you want my services lol), but they don’t pay enough for me to even consider getting off unemployment benefits. It feels like the same job-hunting process, except now I’m cold-emailing potential clients or sending in constant proposals on Upwork. My shop is bringing in some decent revenue for a starting point, but nowhere near enough to be a reliable income source. I’ve also done OnlyFans and Fansly before, but my back simply cannot handle the poses I used to do in my early 20s. Plus, my knees sound like Rice Krispies soaking in a bowl of milk.

Speaking of achy, snap-and-crackling bones, I’ve gotten chubby. And while there’s nothing wrong with having a little extra weight, my self-confidence is already taking a hit from job hunting. I don’t need another reason to feel bad about myself when I look in the mirror.

I know some people would love my current schedule—all the free time in the world to relax or figure out what they want to do next. But I was born and raised a workaholic. Not being able to leave my apartment and go to work is killing me. Even a part-time minimum wage job would be enough—just anything to keep me from going crazy from pure boredom!